emotional

Nowadays i realize i tend to piss people when i'm down,or we should use the term-EMO.This few days i share my laugh with my mom,talk crap with my aunt.Yet,deep inside my heart,i feel so sofiscated with my life.I'm making a decision which might eventually change my life,or a mistake which will ruin money,with lots of figure on it.I'm not worry i will fail,i'm just concern with i can't leave everything behind.I start to appreciate my friends more,i start to develop the sense of trust among you guys.But it will torn apart when our distance become further and further.College friends are a good example.I miss the old time,but there is nothing much that we can to do to have that kind of gathering again.Everyone is far apart from each other.Everyone is busy and carry on with their life.There will be less time to show concern to others.At times it is not that we are being selfish,it is the far distance that start to torn everything apart.We still will be in contact,but the time will be lesser and lesser and eventually,there will be and end for everything.Leaving this fucked up country has always been my dream for many years.It almost shatters when i was in college,now i have a chance to in pursuit of my dream again,but the feeling doesn't feel as exciting as it used to be.Partly is due to the fact i have become a creature with more emotions.High school friends are getting closer and closer,i tend to be more appreciate those moments we spent together.Sometimes a clueless mind is what it takes to ruin the atmosphere.Guess at this particular moment,it really ruin me for a while..I need sometime to cool my heads off.May be i'm getting more and more frustrated with the visa application which is a pain in an arse.DAMN NZ immigration with all its sticky rules.Letter of good conduct,financial guarantee letter,college reference and many more is killing me softly.Hope i can sort all this shit out ASAP.

Treasuring what i have...at least for now,i feel blessed with the people surrounding me