Again

The truth is...i'm not a good friend.

Sorry,nel

I didn't know she is sick...

Dilemma Over

For the past few weeks i have been searching for jobs, tons of replies stuck up my pathetic inbox.It's not really hard to find job.the toughest task is allocating a place for me to stay.Anus Pang is kind enough for me to stay,but due to strategic problem,i have to reject,for that,i feel a bit sorry in a way,though i know he won't actually care,LOL.And then of course the story continue with i found the job i want.Selling ice cream for 10 bucks per hour.Intended to go for an interview,which is actually pointless,because i know i will get the job,cause the interviewer is a she,ROFL,and of course they need people urgently,which is the main point,forget the first factor,thank you.

Mom suddenly came with a bang "Boi,you don't go work, December follow me to Thailand." To tell you the truth,i don't feel like going,but then this would be the last trip i can actually spent my time with my mom for the next two years.I wanted to spare more time with my mom.In the same time i wanted to earn money to buy stuff.At the end,i chose to hibernate for 2 more weeks and follow my mom to Thailand.I don't feel like missing this chance to go for a trip with my mom.It has been so long since the last time we spent time together. As for money?Well,just like Chili said...i can earn up to NZ$ 200 per day during summer break.What for aiming for 1k ringgit per month for now.

I should value my remaining time in Malaysia,instead of thinking how much i can earn per month,the figure will never exceed 2,and my aunt just bank in 2k to my account =.=" Heard she got a paid raise again.So officially,i can self proclaim,i would rather rust in my home!!Forgive me for being so useless,but i wanted to do something which is more meaningful to me...at least few more photos with my mom..

Who to be blamed

What's the point of hating a 61 years old old man?You know u hate him,but he is so old,what's the point of making your stand so hard. Life will be tougher but it's time to make a brace of yourself. To accept him and move on with your life.Disappointed but who to be blamed?

Time is running out

What can you do when you have the ability to freeze the time.Unfortunately that's not gonna in my type of world. As i am breathing now,i know there is not much time left in Malaysia,a land corrupted with idiot politics but full of memories which mold me up. Chili asked me who will i miss when i go to NZ.The answer is actually really easy to be answered.Yet, i don't know how to reply her at the beginning.I'm trying not to think of it as long as i wanted it to be,but clock is ticking,there will be a time where i really have to say good bye. Though i'm rusting at home,i still hope time can moved slower even just by a fraction of seconds. Can i really let everything go when i really take off?This question circling around me every night before i closed my eyes. Two years without seeing my mom,my high school punkies,my college mates..i know i will miss them from the bottom of my heart...i know i will........

Insecure

Another fellow asked me again,the same old question which has circling around me for years.Why don't you have a girlfriend?To tell you the truth,i don't know the exact answer,LOL..

The most simple plain reply will always be the same: NO PEOPLE WANT!

alright,i'm done with this post!

EMO?

Lately i received lots of complains.Some said my blog made them emo?LOL,i seriously doubt myself having such potential to do so. I wonder since when i become such an influential person. But the truth is, i'm getting really used to it.Today i text with few person.None of them actually realized i'm very emotional.I think for the past few years has seriously taught me how to control my feelings.The hatred of being in such uncomfortable condition, the feeling of getting hurt,a thought full of disappointment, i guess i'm getting really used to everything nowadays. Learning is hard,but to accept it is even harder. No matter how sucky it turn out to be,the true fact is,we all have to face it.After all,this is Life.You can always faced it with laughs and joys,but there will always be time where your heart sunken in a deep ocean, You're trying to avoid the sinking by hiding your feeling,showing your tough side in front of others.Well,i don't act tough anymore, i was forced to toughen up.It's not about looking things in a positive way or what,it's just a choice to be made.Normally things won't happen according to our plan.We will definitely live our lives with regrets, but within the regrets, we learnt something. Some with our family,some with our friends,some with the one you love.That moment is what define us...

This is for you

I saw one status in facebook weeks ago.I didn't actually pay much attention to it.The status is really simple,yet it is so true.Growing up is really not fun at all. As we grow older,we tend to have more responsiblity. We need to learn how to deal with not just homework and lousy and boring classes anymore. But,we have to face it no matter what happens

Life is really great when it comes to family and friends.I believed in what most of us believed in.I'm blessful to have a mom who loves me so much,who cares for me,who gives everything to me Yet,i'm taking it for granted.Selfishly i need to bear it with my own eyes to see her work as hard as she can to support my studies.If i'm not going oversea,she by now should be able to retire and go travelling and enjoy her life.Same applied to my dad. Sometimes it is really hard to make choices in life.Things that i wanted for years,which eventually granted with my parents hard earned money.Yet,i feel so bad for myself.All i can do for now is to promise myself i will study hard and take care of them in the future.I learned to toughen up myself,by casting no doubt with my ability,i shall rise up to the challenge,worked my heart out to let them enjoy their life when they are old.This is such a strong statement to be fulfilled.i have to been through a process,a process we called maturity before i can fulfill the statement i have just make. It's time to grow up.From a boy,to a teenager,from a teenager,i am preparing myself to be a man.A man who take care of his parents.

I want to be that man...

Visa

After 4 trips to kl,with lrt and buses as my transport,i have submitted all the documents to Selset,the agency dealing with my Visa to NZ.hell yeah it has been a tiring journeys,with lots of fuck up incident with it. Last Friday i receive another heart attack!.It was early in the morning and the indian guy,sorry dude,forgot your name again :p called me.He told me that the Foreign Affair Ministry do not accept runner or representative to apply letter of good conduct for students anymore.The student have to go to Wisma Putra themselves to get the letter of good conduct.My mind was telling me,WTF!!!!I jump out of the bed,put on my jeans and rush to the office.The office is nearby taylors while i'm staying nearby Subang Parade.It took me just 3 minutes to reach there,LOL.when i open the door,i saw the indian guy still calling others and informing them the bad news,LOL.And he was quite shock to see me!LOL.While i was figuring out how to go there by public transport,i received another phone call.I think god seriously show me some mercy that day!The indian guy told me he needed to go there,and he can give me a lift.The time is 2.50pm when we started our journey and the place closed at 4=.=" I can tell you wisma putra is a fucking jungle! Putrajaya is seriously a place with a failure name tag!all thanks to our beloved two faced Mahathir,we got a big open space with lots of partially developed buildings and houses.Z,i will stop the politic issue for now,get sick of it everytime i think of it.For once and for the rest of the times,SCREW the government with its pathetic policy.How can you suddenly change the rules and asking people to follow it without any notification?ARe you guys brainless?Yes,i answer it for you!The good news is i get the whole process done in a quick time.Seriously need to thank Selset for the ride,because i think i won't be able to reach this place by public transport,and taking a cab will cost me like =.=" Well, let's forget the figures.

I Support Chee Li Kee

emotional

Nowadays i realize i tend to piss people when i'm down,or we should use the term-EMO.This few days i share my laugh with my mom,talk crap with my aunt.Yet,deep inside my heart,i feel so sofiscated with my life.I'm making a decision which might eventually change my life,or a mistake which will ruin money,with lots of figure on it.I'm not worry i will fail,i'm just concern with i can't leave everything behind.I start to appreciate my friends more,i start to develop the sense of trust among you guys.But it will torn apart when our distance become further and further.College friends are a good example.I miss the old time,but there is nothing much that we can to do to have that kind of gathering again.Everyone is far apart from each other.Everyone is busy and carry on with their life.There will be less time to show concern to others.At times it is not that we are being selfish,it is the far distance that start to torn everything apart.We still will be in contact,but the time will be lesser and lesser and eventually,there will be and end for everything.Leaving this fucked up country has always been my dream for many years.It almost shatters when i was in college,now i have a chance to in pursuit of my dream again,but the feeling doesn't feel as exciting as it used to be.Partly is due to the fact i have become a creature with more emotions.High school friends are getting closer and closer,i tend to be more appreciate those moments we spent together.Sometimes a clueless mind is what it takes to ruin the atmosphere.Guess at this particular moment,it really ruin me for a while..I need sometime to cool my heads off.May be i'm getting more and more frustrated with the visa application which is a pain in an arse.DAMN NZ immigration with all its sticky rules.Letter of good conduct,financial guarantee letter,college reference and many more is killing me softly.Hope i can sort all this shit out ASAP.

Treasuring what i have...at least for now,i feel blessed with the people surrounding me