Unwanted Feeling

Waking up this morning, realizing it's already Monday, meaning it's time to do reports and start studying seriously piss me off,but in the same time, what have i done in the past 2 days?Eat,sleep,laptop and laptop. No hanging out with friends like old time sake,i guess a lot really changed.

If you asked me again am i regret coming over here, i will still stay firm with the same things i told you last time. I cannot have any regrets, since this is the choice i made. There will always be things which made you really unhappy, such as when you have this strange feeling you can't mix in the conversation. Probably i am rushing things up,i wanted to change my past 20 years into a culture with so much differences. Wonder why all my friends who study in oversea don't really have much white friends, i guess i understand it now. That doesn't mean that i don't like them, we have some good times here. Though i know would be much happier if i decided to stay in the asian flat. At the end, i lost to one word and one word only, money.

With money,i can travel around during breaks now like, with money,i can eat every thing i always wanted to try, i can party like a damn fucking rock star. Unfortunately,i don't. My mom has sacrifice too much for me too fool around like tat. It seems strange i will have such feeling?Is it because of maturity which made me have such old fashion feeling?

I guess as i'm getting old, i started to think like an adult, which at times can be really frustrating , it made you can't do things you wanted to. But this is just part of life where you have to endure. After all, living the life with a smiley face is way better to keep thinking how fuck you life could be. Though i started to have such thought, constantly remind myself my main purpose of coming does helps a lot.

I hate my class. As a matter of fact, i don't really like my classmates. Some singaporean who is so kia su, but self proclaim themselves to be intensively educated=.=" Don't laugh my fucking ass off,dude. And there is another idiot who keep asking questions in the class,with a dick gay voice and,the worst part, he is so botany type of guy. That means he said himself enjoying studying and have good grade,and whatever shit he is, he is just so not into my league. I don't like to be asked, hey how's your grade? Got A o not? I really don't want to have this kind of lifestyle again, it's seriously sucks!

It has been 2 months, and i am pretty sure i don't really have a nice friends to hang out with. I don't miss my mom too much, probably due to the fact we video chat more than 2 times per days. I do miss those idiots back home. As he said, 那是我们都回不去的从前, but i do hope our friendship will never end...

To pm14,i seriously don't get the clue of creating a facebook page and keep telling each other, so long no see you, and some don't even know where are they studying, O.o..At times the WTF line will keep popping out.Don't feel offended,vic.It is just a sad truth.

Some takes years to settle down here, i can't expect more.I'm coping well but it's not as easy as it looks like,not when you considering you straight jump into second year without any friends joining you.Not to mention you straight flatting with foreign people with no chinese communication involved. Did i mention i never hold a pan for the past 20 years and now i can cook almost every single shit u wanted me to make for you? I'm catching up, but i just hope i can be better.

Time to do dickhead reports.

Friends

Just read my friend's blog.My fucking idiotic friend,who master the art of cursing and giving me an enjoyable high school life. No doubt there will always be things where we can't look back, there will always be things where you can't say sorry for what you did, there are things where you wish it will never happen. Shits happened all the time, and we are still friends till now, which in my case, consider it as a blessing. God u know how much i miss my A level life. The life where you can just hang out, relax and chill with your friends, i really miss those moments. But the truth is,i miss my high school friends too. I miss those fucked up things we did. Laying down on my 2 dollar bed, ( i got it on a church sale ), what do you expect?I'm fucking poor! Looking at my laptop screen, writing out a piece of crap right now, deep inside my heart, i shed my tears, hoping you guys are around with me right now. It is so hard to actually understand this kind of feeling until you actually being here, deeply alone, thinking what you have been through all these years, it does bring back good old memories which will melt your heart with smile....

Don't get me wrong. I have friends here.Though not as closed as those back home, it is just the kind of feeling, the kind of closeness we have that bond us so strongly, it doesn't work well here.At least for now, it isn't. Partly due to the fact some of them are born here,some has been here for ages, as for me?I am only freshly baked in Dunedin for 2 months. It really takes time to settle down. I'm settling down pretty well. Seriously, you can't argue how capable am i to settle down in foreign country. I think i'm actually doing pretty good with this adaption thing.But still,you will feel it.

The distance between you and your family, your beloved friends.Friendship are really mean to be forever. Even though we don't chat nowadays, we don't greet each other in Facebook anymore.It doesn't mean i forget you. It doesn't mean it's over. It's just a process, a process where everyone will endure, just in my circumstances, it's 3000km away from home..

I miss you guys...
Live well, fuck well
Till the next time we meet

New zealand

IT has been such a long time since the last update from my blog,isn't it?Oh well,trying to get adapt to a new culture is driving me nuts. My meaning of new culture is i didn't speak single mandarin word for the past 1 month except when i web cam with my mom. It is kinda hard to realize times actually flies.It has been one and a half month since i got here. From a dried sneezing nose to a shivering cold weather,till the extend of its 40 knots wind.I guess i still survive.It's not the temperature which do the damage,it's the fucking wind which kill its. Anyhow,i started to get used to the weather,wearing a puff jacket before leaving the room is a must,or u simply put on something warm on u all day long is just the simplest solution.

I don't really feel that i experience a very big culture shock,i tend to get used to it within the first 2 weeks. The only problem is, i become kinda quiet. I don't talk as much as i did in my college or uni. I have friends,i have lots of hi-bye friends,but i simply can't get those type in college. To be fucking honest,i really miss my fucking idiotic high school friends.Don't o0o me,u know way fucking better who i refer to! Those moment we had,those times where all of us get wasted.I do have to admit,i miss you guys..

Those americans i'm staying with are actually pretty good.Decent, drinkers i would say. I never like beer,as a matter of fact,i i hate beers,they are the worst creation of mankind,but it's the ultimate socializing tool in the world.At least to the minimum extend,this is how it works in Dunedin. No matter what races you are,you gonna end up in a flat party drinking.Unless u choose to be a nerd,studying in the library every single day.Those types are really lifeless.They got no social network at all. I don't drink tat much,seriously i am no fucking joking,i can't event drink that much either,but most of the time you need to know people from tat kind of event.

My class is fucking shitty.They are either too big or too small.Big as in there are 500 students.,the small would be 30 plus.In big one,you wont be able to remember their faces,and most of the time you will just sit with different people in different seat. As for small class,most of them are just so quiet. The theory in making friends in Oversea is,if you don't take the first steps,you will hell no end up going back with a blank experiment.

Before i come here,i told myself to lay low profile,not to mess around like what i did back in Malaysia. But then, it seems this is way beyond the extend the low profile.It takes time...eventually,it will be there,but it just

NEED MORE TIME~~~~~~