Never be

Getting visa done mark the end of my disastrous process which resulting me coming up to kl more than 3 times.Getting ready and waiting to fly is a process i have been ready to take up,not until today.Back from Thailand, went to clubs with friends, getting ready to work before flying should be a continues process.But,something went wrong. The wrong part being i realized i love my parents so much after all this time. Going oversea,leaving everything,never in my life i would realize such feeling is so hard to be bear.Things which are meaningless to me for the past few years seems to be the most important thing for now on. Leaving Malaysia is my dream,but leaving someone who is so important in my life for 2 years,it's such an unbearable situation. No one can actually understand me nowadays. I tend to get the frequency of getting emotional all of the sudden.Every time such feeling appears,i realized all my friends will be at their own. I 'm not blaming anyone for that, somehow i feel that it is a sign,a sign notifying me to be stronger. Yet,i collapse. The true is, i collapse without a warning. I rejected a job which is in my hand, i'm going home. I wanted to spend more time with my family,as i know,i won't be seeing any sooner after February 15th..Forgive me for being such a weakened person,i don't intend to be,but i really can't let go. Realizing the importance other than money is such a hard task. I learned it today,to back down when the times are right.

Treasuring everything i have for now,as there will be nothing but ashes afterwards...