Player vs Loyalist

At times when things seem to be so smooth,it become more prone of getting yourself into some kind of shit which make you trigger your brain cell to think again and again,who the fuck m i.I really wonder what kind of person i'm..Sorry to be born with a player face,but am i really qualify to be a player.The most important part would be am i capable of hurting people while myslf is so unaffected.I doubt my ability,i doubt whether can i withstand the impact which may change my whole life o not.I guess my decision not to stick on 1 relationship has so far proven to be correct,as i called myself player,but i won't be able to let go once i hold on to it.I guess i'm those selfish stubborn type of person...Can't fall in love with someone so easily,i simply can't~Afraid of being hurt,afraid of being alone again,i remain to be my own self,finding the trill of life but unable to value them in my heart...Sorry for being so senseless,forgive me for being so cruel to you